After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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