So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
