what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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