haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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