is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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