so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
