She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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