I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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