I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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