I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
