totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
