His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Michael Bay diarrhea
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
