you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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