I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
