Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
