Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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