Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
