Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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