If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
