I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
