I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize