she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
time to smoke my breakfast
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
