dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
