So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize