this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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