He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
