You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
