ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
