Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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