You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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