I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
