ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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