The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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