i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
