The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
