I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
