I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize