You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
