I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
