I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
