hell yes lets make some ravioli
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
