So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
