yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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