hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im holly from the hills drunk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Your penis caused this!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
