He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
