Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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