You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
