Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
