it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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