if you like me you must not know who I am
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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