Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
