u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
