Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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