Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
