i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
