so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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