Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
