Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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