i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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