I heard we made out
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
