so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
4 words: hood of his car
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
