I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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