OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
