I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
