Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
