You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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