My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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